Kendell Williams was born in Fort Ord, California on May 13, 1988. He was much loved and is deeply missed by all his friends and family.
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Kendell sent me a myspace message then a friend request sayin he liked my profile and pics too and he wanted to know my name so we can get to know each other better!!! Then he invited me to his house to watch a PPV movie and I accepted...at first I was gonna say no, then he said or assured me he wasn't gonna do nothing!!! He promised me, he said that he just wanted someone to keep him company at his house because he broke his car and had a house all to himself for a week!!!! I wish I could rewind all the way back to that day and just live in it FOREVER!
Today Kendell had sent me a message (both myspace and txt) tellin me, "well thanks for tellin me you didn't wanna talk to me anymore. Well call me if you wanna hang out you have my number if you don't here it is 388-1628." I was mad because I had explained to him that I couldn't go out that day because my dad was keepin a close eye on me and I could hardly go out now...well then he started to tell me why couldn't I go out with him, that I could never go out with him, instead he has to be with his friends (and not that he minded that, cause he didn't) and he just wanted to spend some time together, with or with out his friends. Then because I let my temper get the best of me I got really angry at him because he just wanted to spend time just to talk and have fun and I couldn't and I told him I had to go...then he made this funny voice and said, "Fine then call me later.............please!" I did later that night and he didn't answer me, then we talked and laughed the next morning...oh yeah and I had gone over my txt messages because of him...not that I regret it or was mad bout it...H3LL NO I wasn't I just upgraded my phone to unlimited messages so I could keep going on and on with him!!!! Just a quick note to you negro....Te Amo y No Me Arrepiento De NADA...Todo lo que hice contigo will always be with me...Te Doy Gracias A Ti Y A DIOS por ponerte en mi camino y enseñandome el amor!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
God blessed Trisha Lee Williams with a beautiful angel that made everyone laugh and smile with his charm and gorgeous blue eyes!
Today I guess God decided He wanted Kendell back...I have no idea why, maybe it was because He saw that the world wasn't lookin safe for Kendell anymore...even though his mother tried her hardest to keep him outta harms way...along with his closest friends. At least knowing that Kendell is in God's loving grace and is FOREVER safe with him and is loved both here and up there makes this pain and emptiness bearable and I just want him to know that he is dearly missed and loved without limits and we are all waiting to see him again at Heaven's Gates with a smile and, "Welcome Home!"
God blessed Trisha Lee Williams with a beautiful angel that made everyone laugh and smile with his charm and gorgeous blue eyes!
Kendell sent me a myspace message then a friend request sayin he liked my profile and pics too and he wanted to know my name so we can get to know each other better!!! Then he invited me to his house to watch a PPV movie and I accepted...at first I was gonna say no, then he said or assured me he wasn't gonna do nothing!!! He promised me, he said that he just wanted someone to keep him company at his house because he broke his car and had a house all to himself for a week!!!! I wish I could rewind all the way back to that day and just live in it FOREVER!
Today Kendell had sent me a message (both myspace and txt) tellin me, "well thanks for tellin me you didn't wanna talk to me anymore. Well call me if you wanna hang out you have my number if you don't here it is 388-1628." I was mad because I had explained to him that I couldn't go out that day because my dad was keepin a close eye on me and I could hardly go out now...well then he started to tell me why couldn't I go out with him, that I could never go out with him, instead he has to be with his friends (and not that he minded that, cause he didn't) and he just wanted to spend some time together, with or with out his friends. Then because I let my temper get the best of me I got really angry at him because he just wanted to spend time just to talk and have fun and I couldn't and I told him I had to go...then he made this funny voice and said, "Fine then call me later.............please!" I did later that night and he didn't answer me, then we talked and laughed the next morning...oh yeah and I had gone over my txt messages because of him...not that I regret it or was mad bout it...H3LL NO I wasn't I just upgraded my phone to unlimited messages so I could keep going on and on with him!!!! Just a quick note to you negro....Te Amo y No Me Arrepiento De NADA...Todo lo que hice contigo will always be with me...Te Doy Gracias A Ti Y A DIOS por ponerte en mi camino y enseñandome el amor!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Today I guess God decided He wanted Kendell back...I have no idea why, maybe it was because He saw that the world wasn't lookin safe for Kendell anymore...even though his mother tried her hardest to keep him outta harms way...along with his closest friends. At least knowing that Kendell is in God's loving grace and is FOREVER safe with him and is loved both here and up there makes this pain and emptiness bearable and I just want him to know that he is dearly missed and loved without limits and we are all waiting to see him again at Heaven's Gates with a smile and, "Welcome Home!"
Kendell,
I just really needed to tell you this...I really need you to know how much I miss and think of you, ok!!!! Pues aqui esta...Why is everything so confusing??? Maybe I'm just outta my mind, I dunno. What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to say??? Tell ME??? PLEASE. Am I supposed to scream it out, plead, cry until I dry out??? WHAT? All I want is to see you again, to touch you all over again, to kiss you until you fall asleep, is that too much??? Take it away, take it all away. Bring back the certainty and love. Why won't you come take me home??? I don't think I'll ever figure this life out, let alone the purpose as to why I'm here. You know what's even more weird about me....??? That I don't even understand myself and yet I expect everyone else to. You know now that you're no longer here I question life a lot more now... I mean do you only come to know what your purpose actually was here when it's your time or what??? Who am I helping??? Obviously noone, not even myself. I'm not depressed....I just feel empty, I feel like I'm falling into this endless pit of sadness and lonliness. I'm constantly in a daze. My mind is always up in the clouds, wondering where you might be, what you're doing. At night when I drive on washington I go back into march 22....I love and hate my mind for that exact reason, because it's moments like that night that when they're gone they are pure evil...they turn on you and make you go through this unexplicable pain. I hate myself for that...for being able to remember things and times I had with you that made me happy but now are the exact same things that slowly kill me day by day...agonizing second by agonizing second. I hate the fact that I can't acccept that you're gone, I still wait for your phone calls. You know I find myself unable to sleep well now...and when I do I don't wanna wake up because you're there. I'm glad that I had the ,chance to watch you wake up(ON A SATURDAY!!!), I just wish I could have been able to forever. I miss everything that I knew about you...everything that you let me see. Only God understands how much everyone misses you. It's indescribable. The sad thing about all of this is that I know I gotta live and cope with it somehow, I just haven't figured out how yet. I stay up just thinkin of ways I can see you again. I'm scared Kendell, I really am. I'm afraid that I'll never see you again. Tell me it won't be long 'till I get to see you again. Tell me you'll be there every step of the way until I close my eyes forever. You helped me and probably everyone else understand and see the beauty and simplicity in everyone and everything. You helped us see that everything doesn't last forever so cherish and love it while you can. You know I'm sure everyone thought you were gonna be with them forever and guess what....so did I but I guess forever just has to wait doesn't it????!
Well my halloween sucked.....because I got a freakin' ticket and to top it off no movie store had the movies that I wanted. But I hope you had an awesome halloween. What were you dressed as...? Well I was a person in mourning...I dressed all in black and got my make-up done and my hair curled and everything...it was alright. So I ended up renting these dumb movies that I've never seen and only watched the beginnings of them all. That means Ima have to watch them tonight!!!! Well negro I gotta go but I'll talk to you later ok. Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS. Remember You'll Never Go Unthought Of!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I want to cry every night,
because I miss the way we fight.
I pray for you every night,
because I miss you not being in my sight.
I miss the sound of your voice,
that I am sick and tired of all this noise.
I miss the way you smell,
oh that smell.
I miss the look upon your face,
that made me smile with such grace.
I love you so much I can't deny,
for when I see you I will break down and cry.
For when I cry these happy tears, I won't have anymore fears.
You'll be home safe with me,
that I'll be able to sleep.
Oh how I miss you so much.
I'll just have to wait and hope you will, keep in touch.
I miss you today
More than I usually do
I’m not sure why today is so different
I just really miss you
Your laugh
Your thoughts
Everything about you
Your scent
Your touch
I miss you so much
I’m at a crossroad in my life
I need your guidance
Your advice
I need you to tell me
It will be all right
I’m uncertain about tomorrow
In my heart
I feel great sorrow
How I wish
That I may borrow
Just one more day
With you
Though you are not here
wherever I go or whatever I do
I see your face in my mind
and I miss you so
I miss telling you everything
I miss showing you things
I miss our eyes
secretly giving each other confidence
I miss your touch
I miss our excitement together
I miss everything we share
I don't like missing you
It is a very cold
and lonely feeling
I wish that I could be
with you right now
where the warmth of our love
would melt the winter snows
But since I can't be
with you right now
I will have to be content
just dreaming about
when we'll be together again
(te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre!) I love you and I Miss You MORE.
Gricelda
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I
Negro....yo se que eres tu!!!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
You know I can believe and understand how your mother's entire heart stopped beating and that she can't breathe or go on without you...but when someone else you know who I'm talking about says it...it's just plain hog wash(ha ha ha funny word...but what else can I use)...I feel that a PIECE of my heart stopped beating...you know stopped feeling...I mean right now I live and breathe for the two monkeys of mine I call brothers...I used to revolve my world around all three of you guys (oh yeah and soccer!!!!) and now I revolve it around my two brothers and visiting and talking with you!!!! Since I don't have cable right now cause I don't even have time to watch it...I can't stay up to date with my soccer news :(. Oh yeah I cry every now and then...like when I hear thugz mansion, I don't cry as bad though and I have you to thank for that because you are still here with me and you have shown me that!!!!But when I hear that song by pretty ricky or that one by alan jackson...I start crackin up like no other!!! GOSH HOW I MISS YOU!!! Well here is some lyrics of this song by babyface that I haven't heard in a long time and it's just to let you know that I'm missing you:
When can my heart beat again
When does the pain ever end
When do the tears stop from running over
When does “you'll get over it” begin
I hear what you're saying
But I swear that it's not making sense
So when can I see you
When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
When can I breathe once again
And when can I see you
When does my "someday" begin
When I'll find someone again
And what if I still am not truly over
What am I supposed to do then, babe...
Do you see what I'm saying
Even if, if it's not making sense
So when can I see you
When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see you... again
Yeah, baby
Do you see what I'm saying
Even if, if it's not making sense, baby
So when can I see you again
When can I see you again
Can my heart beat again, baby
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see, babe, again
Wanna see you again
Again...
Hey so I spent all night thinking bout how things would've been if my dad woulda let me go out more or if I wouldn't care soo much as to what my family thought of me, well mainly just my brothers, you know cause I'm always with them. But as I was thinkin, trying to see how it really would be, I didn't come up with anything...nothing at all because i mean if it were supposed to be that way then that's the way it would've been, right? Then I started to doze off slowly because I was reminiscing botu that night we were watching open season!!!! That was the best night we ever had...well I think!!! It's my most memorable of anything....I mean anything....I mean that night you made me feel soooo many different things all at the same time...here's a just a few....Love, excitement, spontaneity, adrenaline rush, passion, affection, desire and sooo many more....Gracias....mil y una veces gracias por todo lo que me diste y sigues dando....Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS!!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So k paso????!!!! You wanna know a secret????? Ok here it is...I LOVE YOU...ha ha ha ha ha I know I know no secret right??!! well at least you know that and that's a good thing....do you know that everyone misses you (A LOT)???? Well you do now Kendell!!!! So yes I know I haven't written in your journal, but I don't want to take it all up saying the only thing that comes to my mind most of the time, cause you already know so I figure just to tell you over and over again until the day I get to say it to you in person again!!!! Whadda you think bout that!???? Well just know that everyone loves you and misses you even more and they all can't wait to be around you again...oh yeah and see you smile again...cause just knowing that you're smiling up there isn't enough, well at least not for me...I have to see it, I just need to see it....tu sonrisa me hace sentir segura, feliz, amada, respetada, y completa!!!! Tu me entendias....pero como???? Well just remember you'll never go unthought of and I love you and Miss you MORE!!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Sabes....Te Amo y Te Extraño.....:) yeah you already know that but I'm never gonna get tired of saying it!!!! So I just wanna tell you that I'm sorry and I feel bad that I haven't written in you journal or left you a letter everytime I go...and it's mostly because I don't want to fill you journal with the same thing, you know the "I miss you's" and "I love you's" cause you already know all of that and I remind you of it EVERY day so why bother writing it down and annoying people with it...I'll just tell you time and again that I love you and I miss you even more and that I (and everyone else) can't wait to see you again....ok!!!! Well negro I know it's short...talk to you later...Love You And Miss You MORE!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I got soooo excited yesterday to see that your journal is back!!!!! YAY! :) Well anyway, today my neices turn 5 isn't that just nifty!!!! You know what is funny????..... that when someone asks you-know-who if she has or knows where any of your things are, she immediately gets offended...you know like everyone is pointing the finger at her. But that's not it, I mean everyone asks everyone, they just want to know....and it just angers me that she will say sooooo many things to different people that know and love you, then she goes and shows the complete opposite....she's diggin herself in deep kendell....let her know that if she truly loves you to just be HERSELF...she doesn't need to be anything other than that. Well negro I gotta run but I'll be back!!! Remember You'll Never Go Unthought Of. Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
What is she thinking???? For one she needs to know that she has been asking everyone if they had that journal not just her. Second she needs to not take it soooo personally, I mean come on she's a grown woman she can take it and if she can't then she literally needs to grow up. Third her signing her name the way she does at times is a tad bit weird...or it could be just me, I don't know. But anyway nevermind that I was just blowing off some steam there...SORRY negro, and at the same time thanks for listening!!! So I think I'm making progress....I mean I still think of you ALL of the time, but I can show people a "happy" side of me now...a side that shows that I've accepted it...that I am coping with it well. But I'm glad that nobody acompanies me to see you or else they would really see ME. Well negro, I gotta get going...see you soon. Love you and Miss you MORE!!! You'll never go unthought of!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Last night I stayed up just thinking about how I feel now that it's been 2 months...and I really don't know how to describe it. I mean I feel sad, yes. I feel lonely also...but those words just don't explain exactly how I feel...I mean they're just parts of what I feel...I also feel empty and confused...I hate people assuming how I feel, that just because they see me laugh and joke they think that I'm just dandy...that I have finally come to accept the fact that you're gone that I now have to wait God knows how long to see you again. But I guess that's just how we are, huh? We just live our lives making assumptions and because of those same assumptions we miss out on a lot. But you didn't, you knew how to live it up!!! I love you and I miss You MORE. You'll never go unthought of.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue....I Love You....Remember that, PLEASE. cada dia te extraño mas y mas...more than the day before. Just show me that you know, tell me that you heard me. Te Amo negro...te amo con todo lo que tengo, y lo que no tengo lo conseguire! Remember you'll never go unthought of. I love you and miss you more!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
P.S.
What happened to your journal now??? Maybe your mom has it so it wouldn't get wet. But then again she would've taken the book too....well it was there wednesday, and I couldn't go thursday and I guess that's when it was gone...(I know because there was a bulletin on myspace bout it) They just really need to quit...for real... well talk to you l8r negro, ok. Love Ya!!!
:)
hey que haces??? well i'm sittin here at work doin some stuff and writing to you at the same time!!! what can i say i'm a multitasker!!!! well at least at some things!!! Well I'll write back soon I love you and miss you MORE!!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey Kendell....so how's paradise??? Well this infierno is still going on down here, but that's beside the point. I wanted to ask you something...I mean if you don't mind..., can you tell me si en verdad me perdonas por everything I did and didn't say to you? Do you know que te amo y sobre todo te estoy extrañando demasiado?? Si me puedes escuchar y entender??? But what I really really ask of you from the bottom of my heart y con todas mis fuerzas is si me puedes llamar otra vez or, si no fuiste tu la vez pasada, can you???? Es que necesito que decirte mil cosas y hacerte mil preguntas que alomejor no son importantes pero, por favor! Nomas dime hola y desde empiezo a preguntarte...no me importa que no me des las respuestas a mis preguntas pero nomas llamame, PLEASE negro.
If I don't cry as much as I used to does that mean I am forgetting you? If I smile and laugh a little more now does that mean that I still don't feel sad and lonely now that you're gone? Does this mean that I am not missing you as much as I did when you would drop me off at my house or we would have to hang up? Because I feel that it's still wrong to feel happy again, to laugh, smile, and not cry...I feel that because I don't cry that you think I am forgetting you...and I really want you to know that no matter if I stop crying for a day or a week that I still miss you with all of my heart and on the outside I may not be crying but in the inside it raining tears like no other. Know that I love you and will always love you with everything that I have...and what I don't have I will get just for you. Remember that I Love You and I Miss You More!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So tell me did you like your dum dum design I made out for you???? Yeah it took a while I didn't know whether to spell out your entire name or just your initials...so I stuck with just your initials and some hearts too!!! Hopefully I didn't make you get a stomach ache...I'm sorry if I did! But I just really felt like takin you some candy, you know I'm in the halloween spirit...at least when it comes to candy :). Since I had already given you chocolates I decided to take you hard candy and since everyone likes dum dums I thought I would take you 150 of them!!! So don't eat them all at once ok...oh yeah and tell your mom I am sooooo sorry that she has to pick all of that up today, hopefully I'll catch her so I can help her pick them up!!! By the way...your spot is the best lookin one out of all of them!!! Y otra cosita tambien...Te quiero muchisimo y te extraño mas!!! Recuerda you'll never go unthought of and I Love You and Miss You More!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey cutie...how are things on your side of the block??? Mine are alright, a little complicated but alright! So guess what?...I've been missing you...:) how bout you??? Do you think bout me...bout how we were??? Do you think about coming back??? About how things would have turned out if that lady wouldn't have been there??? Do you think you would have gotten caught?!?!?!? Where is all of this coming from...de un vacio en mi corazon...es como un mar de ?'s que no tienen respuesta. I got us these rings (well I ordered them) they are sterling silver and they should come in the mail in a few weeks...the front says, "Until We Meet Again" and on the inside, "I Luv U & Miss U More" is gonna be engraved in it....I'm sooo x-cited can't w8 till they get here :). Well buddy boy I must go but I'll see you soon,ok! Remember you'll never go unthought of and Te Amo Y Te X-traño MAS!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I can't believe that someone took your things again Kendell...What the H3!!???? Sorry for that language but come on what's their deal????? Well I just quickly stopped by to say that I love you and Miss you MORE and remind you that You'll Never Go Unthought Of!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
You know I'm running out how to title every entry...it's hard work thinkin bout them!!! Well you're mom and sister really liked the pink rosary...that's good cause I thought the green one was the best even though I did like the beads on the pink one the best!!! Well I'm almost gonna move...all I need is 100% assurance that I can make it...and that I can pull them through all of this...you know I really don't care much right now bout me makin it...(well the only thing that I do really ask for myself most of the time is to keep this job)...to help them make it through school with no problem but it's not workin out so good on that part...I mean I do everything to send them to school but after they are there I don't have much control of them actually stayin there or attendin...I mean besides takin them to school...Well I Love and I Miss You MORE and REMEMBER You'll Never Go Unthought Of, ok!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So I was there yesterday and I dunno I think your mom went by cause the book and things were not there anymore....I really think it was your mom because everything was gone (you know even your letter) so yeah!!! I mean I hope it wasn't whoever took your pants or things ( that would really suck.) There was nothing to write in or on there yesterday so I used the only thing I had in that ugly blazer I had to drive (I h8 driving big trucks like explorers and blazers...even though I must say that I like how jeeps ride!!! :) ) which were napkins...they were too long for me to fold like a heart so I folded like an arrow...or a house which ever you thought it was first. If your mom wants to keep 'em that's fine...I understand if she throws them away cause they're napkins!!!! Well I was gonna tell you that I might type all of my letters that I make you (like when I'm at work and I just have to write you something). But if I'm at home then I'll write them on the notebook paper...Ok...is that fine...it's better than the yellow paper isn't it???? Ok! Well Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS...and Remember That You'll Never Go Unthought Of!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Kendell, I don't know how to thank you enough or in what other way to be grateful for sending her. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't send her to hold me and tell me that! Thank you, thank you, thank you Kendell. I had to get off...I couldn't take it anymore...Going back to you is the only thing that was on my mind as I was driving away and I couldn't fight any longer...I gave in, I needed to tell you how sorry I was for everything...for not asking how you were, for not being able to call you, for my phone not having service, for not stopping and asking you what you wanted ME to do for YOU. I'm sorry Kendell...just call me, please...just once so I can ask you all of this and tell you a lot more. You don't have to answer any of my questions...just let me listen to you breath, and hear one hello. I loved you as best I could and I don't know if it was enough, I tried to keep you as much as I could so you would be outta harms way...so nobody could touch you. I tried and wanted to tell you sooo many things and they wouldn't come out...they were at the tip of my tongue, Kendell and they wouldn't come out...I miss you Kendell...I really do and all I want is for you to rest your head on my legs again...If I have to walk through fire, go half way across the world with nothing just to tell you that I am thankful for everything you gave me and that I love you with everything I have to give and what I don't I will get...I will, for you and if my brothers ask that of me and more I will give...I try Kendell I really do try to show you three how much you mean to me and that you guys are the world to me noone else besides you and my brothers is all I have to keep me going in this cursed and hopeless world...yeah I have a mom, dad, other brothers and sisters but they all have their families...their lives and things they have to worry about, love and care for now. Seeing them every morning and afternoon and recieving endless love from them and you is what keeps happy...what makes me realize I have everything that I have ever asked for...a family and love...I'm not perfect and my rascals aren't angels but they try...I know they do. Well I have to cut this short but I'll finish later, ok. Love you and thank you lots and I Miss You MORE. Remember that you'll never go unthought of.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Kendell,
Well I’m here thinking of you, like I always am. But today I just have to tell you that no matter how long I have to wait to see and touch you again, you will always be in my heart and in my dreams!!! Writing to you is now el unico modo que puedo calmar este sentimiento de amor y dolor que tengo. Te extraño MUCHISIMO and I guess that’s the painful consequence I have to pay for loving and caring for you the way I do. I wish that the time I had with you was a video tape so I could just keep rewinding it and rewinding it but I guess the only reaccuring thing in my life is pain and tears. The thought alone of you siempre me hacia sentir feliz and calmed, you can only imagine what your presence made me feel!!! (shhhh it’s our little secret…I won’t tell if you promise not to.) I need to tell you and let you know how much I am missing you and I just can’t seem to find the right words…Do you know already, lo dudo que sepas en realidad cuanto te estoy amando y sobre todo extrañando. Help me find the words…cause telling you that I love you and miss you everyday just doesn’t cut it, Kendell. Te necesito aqui, right here enfrente de mi para poder acariciarte otra vez y decirte que te extraño y no quiero que te vayas. The simple things, Kendell…that’s all I want. Is it sooo hard for God to let you go again?...He didn’t once before can’t He do it again??? Todos te necesitan, more than you know…mira a tu madre for example, ella y tu hermana son las que te necesitan mas que nada y nadie. Regresa amor por favor, ask God for me will you, que es lo que debo de hacer para que el te deje regresar de nuevo. Me tengo que humillar, rezar, rogar, suplicar,…QUE???? If He did give you a choice…would you???? Remember that You’ll never go unthought of and that Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Yesterday was kinda chilly when I went...But you know it is kinda weird how you're not settled in yet...is it because you don't want to?Oh Yeah and because it always was like you to stand out huh!!! But yeah you're mom got there to pick all your stuff up because they were supposed to mow today. She smiled at what I wrote in the journal...ha ha ha!!!Well I'm bein mean mugged so I gotta get back to work ok!!!
Remember that you'll never go unthought of and that Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So Amor it's been a while since I've written to you in here but that's because I don't have a computer anymore...you 'member right!!! Anyway so I saw your journal was almost full and I thought I should go buy you a new one because I was always writing in that one!! So as I went shopping for your new journal I ran across this book light and I thought it would be perfect for when your mom, sheila and everyone that sometimes go l8,wanted to leave a thought!!! Then I saw that little goodies container...I just couldn't help myself! I wrote what I wrote in the beginning of the journal because it felt right...you know, something was tellin me (senti como que tu querias que dejara a todos saber)to write that...that that's how most people judged you by and they're wrong to do that... and the second thing was for your mom...I felt that you querias que lo escribiera para ella, that you want her to know that you're ok everything is fine and noone can harm you anymore. It made me feel that she would feel a tiny tiny tiny sense of relief and/or comfort to know that you're ok. I know that she won't realize that that little sentence made a difference because the pain is sooo big and deep...but when she gives it a second maybe third thought or so she will see that it did make a difference, a little unnoticeable one but a difference!!! Well amor I must get back to my trabajo ok but I'll see you soon. Remember you'll never go unthought of and that Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I know that I didn't put anything in here yesterday, but it was because I wasn't here yesterday and my phone needs some kind of flash player to be able to go on this site and write something for you. But I was with you yesterday and that's all that matters to me ok. Words just don't seem to come close to how deep, dark and never-ending this pain from your loss really is. The fact that I am certain you are now in God's grace looking down on everyone who loves and misses you is what makes it bearable. I know that I'll be with you again and that makes me happy and I can't wait to feel the security of your arms again and get lost in the depth of your your eyes. Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS. Remember that you'll never go unthought of.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Tell me you’ve had trouble sleeping
That you toss and turn from side to side
That it’s my face you’ve been seeing
In your dreams at night
Tell me that you wake up crying
And you’re not sure exactly why
Tell me that something is missing
In your life, in your life baby
Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me
I could have sworn I saw you smile at me
Standing in the pouring rain
At a loss for words and running out of time
I said this crazy thing (crazy thing), I said
Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me
Hold me now and tell me that you do believe
In a soul, a soul mate
And tell me, and tell me, tell me
Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you’ve waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it’s not just me
Kendell first off let me apologize for crying like a little girl yesterday, it's just that I couldn't contain them any longer. I had been all day @ work and when I pulled in the cemetery I just exploded. I couldn't take it anymore I needed to let them out and again I'm sorry for that. Well negro I have to get back to work but I'll be back...hey by the way would you mind if I made some letters to Dios too I mean duh, they'll be about you because this is why I made this page...for YOU. Thanks amor. Recuerda que Te Amo Y Te Exraño MAS. And YOU'LL NEVER GO UNTHOUGHT OF!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey negro como estas??? Yo trabajando o whatever you wanna call it... sabes a veces pienso o siento como que no estoy trabajando, o haciendo todo lo que debo de hacer and it makes me feel bad, I dunno why but it does. Anyway I went yesterday i think like around 9 i really don't know it was just really dark and your friend Sheila was there with someone else. I couldn't see well enough because my hair was in my way plus I was cutting away the dead parts of your flowers. She told me that she brought water out here for them because the guy told her they haven't been running the sprinklers well this week and I thought that was nice of her and I thanked her and I left right away because I didn't know if she had just gotten there, and I didn't want to rush her or make her feel like I was rushing her so I left first. Then after about three minutes or so I went back, I had cut three flowers for you but only one was still nice, the pedals fell off of the other two. But yeah that was my trip last night... oh yeah I saw my sister and my neices they were in town because my sister is in training for some new job...that was nice i was happy!!! Well negro I gotta get back to work ok, but I'll come back soon. Remember that you'll never go unthought of (EVER) and que Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
You know when I'm @ work the only refuge I have to break down into tears is the bathroom that we have in the basement...I go there when I can't take anymore BULL$H!T from the two women that I work with so I won't blow up @ them and get written up. I also go there when I can't contain myself...it's all I have right now because I don't even have that @ home anymore because my dad just bugs and bugs about him leaving and all... and @ times all I can say to him is, "GO JUST F@%$#*& GO" and then all the yellin starts, man sometimes I wish I could disappear, you know, float away just for a second or two, just to relax and meditate...but I don't see that happening any time soon. Pues negro aqui termino esta conversacion para que no te aburre mas ok!!! Pero recuerda que siempre ay alguien que esta pensando en ti, Y Que Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Pues fui anoche no se a que horas pero te deje tu carta. Ay ay ay tu crees que encuentre un apartamento rapido??? Ojala que si por que entonces si estoy perdida...Sabes que el Jueves vas a cumplir ya un mes de difunto...entonces el jueves no voy a trabajar para estar contigo todo el dia, si?!?!?!?! Ok pues, entonces el jueves nos vemos!!! :) Sabes hoy desperte con mucho sentimiento...con tanta tristeza y no se por que...siento como que quiero gritar (well I feel like that most of the time) llorar sin cesar, sacarme el corazon y hacerlo pedazos para ya no sentir tanto dolor. Te exraño Kendell...mas de lo que todos piensan...mas de lo que tu puedas saber o llegues a saber... I have most of the time these on and off depressing moments where I just feel like I need to cry, and now that you're gone they're more frequent (I'm not saying it's your fault I'm just letting myself out to you) and instead of just crying for a bit it's nonceasing...and other times I have to scream and yell and to keep me from doing that I have this tendency to pull out all of the grass anywhere I go (because you're constantly on my mind) if it's with you or at my sister's soccer games or just in my backyard thinking. Most of the time when I begin to think of you I start talking to you like if you're right next to me and there's people looking at me like I'm nuts. I mean I don't mean to it's just something that I can't help doing, like say I'm in the store and for some reason a question for you pops in my head I'll start askin away and I just start my own little conversation and I get lost until someone asks me if I need help lookin for something is when I know that I'm in a store and then I totally lose concentration on what we (or I) were talking about and I lose you. Anyway negro I have to go but I will see you soon. Remember that you'll never go unthought of and that TE AMO Y I MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So I don't know if I'm gonna be here this weekend so if I'm not I just wanted to let you know if I don't go see you this weekend it's because I'm either in TriCities checkin to see how my big sis and my two devil neices are or in oregon visiting my older bro and his wife and kickin it with my ballet neice and menace nephew, ok!!! Well I can't w8 for work to be over...oh man it feels like each day is longer than the last...is it??? So tell me how is Thugz Mansion??? Are you a big Hot Shot or what??? Is it really chromed out??? WOW that would be awesome!!! How bout your cousin Ben are you rollin with him...you know is he showin you the ropes??? WOW that sounds amazing!!! You think I'll make it to Thugz Mansion??? Well mi amor aqui termino esta carta, recuerda que siempre ay alguien que esta pensando en ti.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey so I went yesterday i really don't know what time it was and the wind was blowing like crazy and your mom was there. Then another person got there... it was the sister of some guy that died 2 months ago his name was Scottie Alan Walker...when I heard his middle name I was like WHAT???!!!! Yeah I stayed quiet through most of the conversation because I don't know how to compare to their pain you know...I mean some of the things they were talkin about like the signs and all that yeah I could compare I just didn't wanna interrupt because she was already into the conversation and I didn't wanna break that but yeah I just felt really sad about the things she and your mom were explainin I was just speachless. But yeah I didn't know that your mom had taken a photo of your grave when I fixed it up with your mountain dews.... I didn't have my phone with me that day so I couldn't take a pic but yeah it came out real great I like it I mean duh yeah I got to see it when it was done and it looked awesome I just didn't think anyone else got the chance to see it or even take a photo of it. I'm gonna have to mention that to your mom if I see her again today or tonight...which sometimes I really don't feel like stoppin there when I see her there because I don't know how long she has had to talk with you and I just feel like she would like to be alone and I dunno you know I don't wanna just butt in because I don't know if she just got there or whatever. But yeah I really like the way it came out I hope you did too.!!! Well I must cut this off here to get back to work, remember I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
So what can I say to you that you don't already know...? Well after thinkin about it for a very long time I came to the conclusion that there isn't anything that I can say to you that you don't already know...so I'll just tell you the same thing in different ways and maybe even languages!!! how does that sound??? Like I Love You, Je T'Aime, Te Amo,Ti Amo,Eu Te Amo and that's about as much as I know or am familiar with. The first one is english,DUH, the next one is french, then spanish, italian, and portuguese...but yeah don't ask me to say anything else in portuguese or italian because I don't know ha ha ha. but yeah I know a very little bitof french from french class my freshman year at Ike kinda like my name is... Je m'appelle... or I can count too!! Funny anyway I have bout 40 minutes left of work and I don't feel like workin I feel like just sittin here and thinkin of you how's that???? :) Well that's exactly what I'll do ok. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey I don't even know what to tell you besides I Miss You SOOOOOOO Much. And I just don't know how not to miss you sooo, you know??? Well I can tell you one thing though everyday is the same day!!!! Now that you're gone it's no longer different ( I mean it is when I go and see you but not spontaneous is what I mean, you know not how you made them)...it's no longer spontaneous, it's just the same day...same routine with the same problems and same stresses. But yeah enough about depressing stuff I was gonna tell you you know that one song by Garth Brooks (yeah I really don't like him much either just one song well actually just like a verse from one of his songs!!!) called The Dance.... yeah well there is this one verse/line whatever you wanna call it that I really like that just answers some of the dumb questions that go through my head, well here it goes..."Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance" so you see I got something soooo beautiful from you because I took the chance and now looks like I'm dealing with the pain, huh? But it doesn't hurt as much as I think it would have if I didn't take a chance on you, and that's what I am grateful for the chance I took (the one you gave me :) . Well my lovely sir I must be gettin off these clouds and back to work but I will come back soon have no doubt about that. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey negro I there yesterday around 7 almost 8 and I had forgotten to leave you the other letter I think because I was fixing you the other roses I cut for you.... That white and red rose smelled sooooooo beautiful but I just hope the sun hasn't kissed away their beauty just yet!!!! But who knows I don't even know how hot it's supposed to be today or the next and so on and so forth, I really stopped paying much attention but I might start to pay attention again during winter season because I can't w8 for it to snow!!! :) You think your mom will mind if I take you a tiny Christmas tree (well not now but l8r in the season, that is if she doesn't take you one first or one at all.) So tell me, come sit on my lap when you have the time, ( cause you know I always have a lot of time :) ) and tell me what you want for Christmas! Whenever you can just let me know and I'll get it!!!! Then I gotta see what my little rascals are gonna want (anything but a camaro or a motorcycle... I think the camaro I can do but I don't think I can on the motorcycle though!!!) Well my lovely man I must be gettin back to work but remember you'll never go unthought of and I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey I went twice yesterday and both times I didn't leave you a letter but I did talk for a long while to you then I wrote in your journal about the other dream that I had of you...that's twice in a row that I dream you...what, is that supposed to mean something are you trying to say something because everytime you try and talk I go deaf (in the dream that is!!) I can't hear you. Well like I told you in the journal I woke up crying...something I haven't done since I was in elementary. But last night I didn't dream of anything at all......or if I did it sure wasn't anything important!!! But yeah I dunno it was nice to see your face again though. The second time I went I took you some roses that smelled oh so sweet and a few of your friends were there I know one of them was Zack because he's the one who said hi to me and I couldn't quite see the others' faces cause it was a little dark for me and you haven't been getting any moon lately...you know there hasn't been one out yet...or maybe I just don't look hard enough...one of the two huh??!! But I really don't have to look that hard because you have such a beautiful and clear view of the moon it's like if your mom knew that that's where it was going to shine brightly on you with no trees or giant buildings in the way. Well I must go now but I will come back soon... you can be sure of that!!! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
OH MY GOODNESS KENDELL!!!! I just took a break like 20 minutes ago and went to buy the NONPARENTAL CUSTODY BOOK... That thang is thicker than a Stephen King book...well no w8 I think it's just as thick but I have to write in this one man I don't even know the first thing about takin care of your brothers as a legal gaurdian...I just hope that I get custody granted tome though so I know that all this wasn't a waist and I can really show the people how my parents really are NOW and not how they used to know them. But I just don't know what to do...I'm soooo lost right now and man Tupac was right when it rains it pours...and I like the rain!! But not this kind of rain, this kind is acid rain, it burns off another piece of me with every drop I just hope that when it's over and done with my brothers still have a sister!!! they know that I love them with all my heart and especially them two because they're the youngest (not so young now) and you know they aren't that much younger than me either and that's what makes it even more difficult because when I was that old I didn't even know how to control or understand my own self let alone two teenagers!!! But I know that if I ask God and everybody that I love that is now home with you (or you home with them??!!) to see me through and give me strength to pull through I know that whatever happens is how it's meant to happen becuase I gave and am giving it my all and I had you all by my side!! Anyway enough about the crazy stuff cause it's givin me a headache just going thinkin abot it again it's a little hot outside... not as much as yesterday but still pretty sweat producing !!!Well I got that movie last night now all I have to do is just take the DVD player tonight and we'll watch it... I hope it doesn't bore you (even though I think it might) but there is some really funny parts I'm sure you'll @ least smile at!!!! If not then I'm soooooooo SORRY I made you watch it with me.
I went yesterday to see you and I saw your mom there and we were talkin bout stuff I don't think I have to bore you (NO KENDELL I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY IT WAS BORING WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY BE LIKE I KNOW I KNOW I WAS THERE!!!) with explainin it to you again because you know how I am about tryin to explain things, I try but when I'm on that subject sometimes I have the tendency to jump to a whole new one that for some reason made me remember it because of what I was first explaining. But yeah I'm pretty sure Kali is going to call your mom sooner or l8r tellin her she's sorry bout everything and try and make things better again and if she doesn't then you know it's her own fault she's a big girl she knows wrong from right and good from bad and from how your mom was explainin it to me it sounded like she was tellin your mom that because you two were "GOING OUT" (anyway!!!) that it was like her responsibilty to call and check up on her and I was just like, WHAT?????, but yeah you know hey from how I see ain't noone callin your mom to check up on her and see how she's doin (x-cept for your sister of course {I think} ) I've thought about it but I really wouldn't want to impose or be pushy so you know I'll just chat with her whenever we cross paths while visiting you or anywhere else... but yeah that chick has some out-of-the-blue brain farts or somethin!!! No offense if you get offended but she just doesn't seem like the kind of girl you would date.... I mean don't get me wrong or anything I haven't seen or met any of the other girls your mom has mentioned but HER??? She's just too dramatic ( I THINK, but again that's just me.) for you like too, " Oh my gosh LOOK AT ME!!! I think I'm all that" for you but hey I don't know then again meeting different kinds of people was your thang wasn't it....and I bet it still is up there ain't it....yeah you're probably like, "You damn well know it is just because I'm home don't mean I'ma change for noone!!!" but yeah and that's why you were and are soooooo loved Kendell. Well I must cut this GIANT run-on sentence off here but I'll see you soon. OH MY GOODNESS please tell me you'll be there with me when my brother (older at that) sees and wants an explanation for the demolished trunk on the car!!!! THANKS NEGRO!!! LOVE YOU LOTS AND MISS YOU MORE!!!.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey I went today during my lunch. I took it today @ 1. I got the book A Midsummer Night's Dream and I skipped the Shakespeare biography because even I got bored with it...why do I care about Shakespeare?? I only like his stories, but suprisingly enough I don't really like the Romeo & Juliet movie with Leonardo DiCaprio because I don't like the way he plays Romeo but if you see the 1968 version of Romeo & Juliet now that one is awesome and I love it. We should watch some time when you're not so busy just let me know!!! Well I must get back to work now but remember you will never go unthought of negro ok!!!Love You Lots and Miss You More.
Gricelda
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Hey today I went this mornin like around 8:20-somethin cause I called and left a message with my supervisor that I was going to be in @ 9 because I had to take my brothers to school and then go see my sister @ the hospital cause she was getting discharged today like around 11 and I wasn't going to see her after she got out because I know she is going to want to sleep. But yeah I was there yesterday talkin with your mom and sister and then I just kinda stopped and your sister started to talk about your accident and how some guy that knows someone named oscar that your sister knows saw the whole thing and when she was explainin it to your mom it sounded like how my aunt described my cousins accident. Because he raced one of his friends in his camaro after he had been drinkin to celebrate his promotion and he was going so fast that when he tried to turn he lost control and toothpicked his car against a street light. And the guy that he raced against got off and tried to help him but he saw his body going into shock because the brain had gotten so traumatized by the hit and when he kinda was comin out of that he told him to not tell his mom. And I told my aunt about your accident and death and she said that at least your mom got the chance to see you and talk with you one last time ( I mean I know she didn't get to talk with you the way she would have wanted if she would have known it would be the last time but she got that brief moment.) And you know how I kinda asked you the question or kind of implied that if i wouldn't have been on vacation if any of this would have happened and I started to think and I realized that yeah it would've happened either way because if God decided that he wanted you to be home then he was just like you about mountain dew noone could make you choose another soda no matter how much they pleaded or begged or insisted and just like that noone could have made God choose another Angel to take home no matter how much we pleaded and beggged and offered to take your place instead because his mind was made up for You.
Funny thing is is that @ first I thought I was going to hate God for this but I didn't I didn't even feel a bit of hatred towards him or towards anyone or anything because I began to realize that without Hate there is no Love and without Dark there is no light and without Evil there is no Good. And because of the Hate there was in this world towards you from others and me towards those who hated you I recieved (and am thankful for) your Love and I gave you mine in return. And due to the Darkness I had through my life because what i was and am still going through with the whole custody situation God and you Gave me your light to guide and help me see the good that would and will come out of this whole situation. And through the evil that is in this world around us and/or being involved in I recieved your goodness out of it. So all I can say is that now that you're gone all I can think about and see is all the things that I did and got through and overcame because of all the love, light, and goodness that I recieved from both God and you. So all I want to do now is instead of looking to be comforted to comfort, and instead of trying to be understood to be understanding and instead of being loved to give love. Well I must cut this off here but I will see you soon. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Well I think my cousin is going to be at the cemetery with me after work today but I'll have some time with you alone for a bit before she gets there today cause she'll be there around six or six thirty and Ima get there like at five something maybe five twenty!!! well gotta run. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Gricelda
I went yesterday after work because I couldn't go during lunch because I had no way to get there,sorry. But I went after work and stayed there until like 7 or 7:30 don't really remember and I read you the letters and then I was talking to you about all the things that were going through my head and all.... wait why am I explaining this to you if you were there!!??!?!? Anyway then I went back around 10 and I stayed outside for bout 15 minutes then got scared because what if someone go there and freaked me out then I spent like another hour there with you but inside the car.
I am going today but i am not going to have the car so i think i have to make my brother w8 with me again but this time it's gonna be my other brother the one who has his hair like me you know which one i'm talkin bout. But anyway your mom asked me yesterday if I wanted her to put the bible in your trunk or to bring it back out there with you because it looked like the water was startin to ruin it and she was right so I just said for her to yeah that would be gr8 if she could put it in your trunk cause i wouldn't want it to get ruined. Well I have to go, I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
Hey I have like two letters for you from yesterday one is because i forgot it at work and the other because i went to the cemetery too late and your mom had already picked up all of your things well i must go now but ill write to you again soon ok. Much love and thoughts Gricelda. I LOVE AND MISS YOU MORE.
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
I can't help but to be at the cemetery with you just laying there and talkin with you bout the things we did. Then when it comes to me leavin you know I just sit there arguing with myself bout whether I should go or just stay because I'm gonna come back anyway!!! Then when I actually do leave I get to the car and see that I have 5 missed calls and they are all from my little brother cause he wants to know when I am goin to take him the car so he can go see his girlfriend... well isn't he lucky??? He still has what I lost (not completely just physically)and I hope he never loses that the way I did because it's a horrible feeling. And you know very well that I never talked to any of your friends besides marquel and that's because we sat next to eachother at graduation!!! That was the most intense moment of my life I've never felt so anxious about anything EVER and you know that. Anyway like I was tellin you earlier that when I leave all I can think about is coming back to see you and it seems like I haven't seen you in hours and when I turn to look at the clock it's only been half an hour or less... and I'm thinkin to myself that that can't be right. I don't know how to limit my visitations because it's so nice right there just me and you and the beautiful sky in the afternoon then in the evening and then when the stars are out....speakin bout when the stars are out I went last night like around 11 so I could see what your mom wrote back before the water got to the notebook and one of your friends showed up so I didn't have time to write anything back because I didn't want to keep them waitin to go see you I thought maybe he or she hadn't gone to see you in the whole day so I figured I'll just write back today on my lunch break and say I'll meet your mom (trisha she wrote :) ) there after work cause we get off around the same time!!! Anyway nice talkin to you negro...Te Amo Y Te Extraño MAS!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I don't know how you could drink so much mountain dew. Me, not a pop drinker, you know that tried to drink a mountain dew (code red, not regular) and I got the worst sugar high EVER! I don't know maybe that's how you always kept me right behind you trying to watch and take care of your every move because you were always with the mountain dew all up in your head. You are what made and still makes my days all spontaneous( I couldn't and still can't make solid plans for anything because you were always there to change them for me) not that that's a bad thing cause it's not I liked the fact that there was always something new with me and you and our days!!! I Love You and Miss You Even More!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre.
Gricelda.
Hey me encontre con tu mama ayer en el panteon. Estuvimos platicando de ti y no sabes lo bien que me senti platicar sobre ti con ella. Pero me costo mucho por que ella tiene tus ojos o vice versa tu tienes sus ojos nomas es que yo solamente veia los tuyos y es por eso que digo que ella tiene tus ojos. Tenia un nudo tan grande en mi garganta. Con trabajo me estuve conteniendo para no llorar por que ella se parece tanto a ti (o como dice la gente tu te pareces tanto a ella) pero como te dije antes tu fuiste el que vi primero y el que siempre veia so por eso lo digo como lo digo. Pues ya se que esta es una carta mas corta que las demas pero tu sabes que te quiero muchisimo. Te Amo Y Te Extraño mas.
Te quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre
Gricelda
I Don't know who Keeps Takin Your Letters From Your Grave As Long As I Know That They Touched Your Grave Before Their Hands (I think it's your Mom though, if it is then that's fine You know they're as much hers as they are yours. I kinda would be bothered if it wasn't her though.) !!! I Love You And Miss You Even More. Can't Wait To See You Again.
Gricelda
Kendell this song is for you. I have dedicated it to you once before and I am dedicating it to you once more. So here's to you.
I had all but given up
On finding the one that I could fall into
On the day before you
I was ready to settle for
Less than love and not much more
There was no such thing as a dream come true
Oh, but that was on the day before you
Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you
In your eyes I see forever
It makes me wish that my life never knew
The day before you
Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you
Were shapin' my heart for the day that I found you
You're the reason for all that I've been through
Then I'm thankful for the day before you-
yeah, yeah
Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you
Was the last day that I ever lived alone
And I'm never goin' back
No, I'm never goin' back
Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
Yeah, I will never have to go back to
The day before you, the day before you
I went today to visit you on my lunch break and two of your friends were there. I don't remember the girls name because when she told me I had a headache because of all the crying and I really didn't pay attention. But yeah I had given her a card and something else that was for you so she could give it to your mom. And yeah back to the whole 'I was there today to visit you,' topic I'm sorry that I just got there to leave you the letter like nothing it's just that I was kind of in a hurry because I couldn't take that long on my lunch but you know that I usually go to see you like three times a day once on my lunch for a bit and then the second time like a 6 or 7 and then the third time like at 10,11 or 12 just depends when I have the car. But yeah Ima be there again at least two more times once for the Rosary and the other just to lay there with you like old times.!!!! Oh yeah and one more thing I met this one girl yesterday that says shes your girlfriend.... I wouldn't know I never knew of any other girl you had besides me!!!! Anyway I'll talk to you and see you pretty soon ok!!! Love You SOOOOOOOO Much and I miss you even More!!!
Te Quise
Te Quiero
Y Siempre Te Querre!!!
Gricelda
In a book- in a box- in the closet
In a line- in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one june
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the mooon
There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tounge
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away
What do I do now that you're gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldnt say
Theres a rain that will never stop fallin
There a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldnt pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it too late now
What do I do now that your gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldnt say
What do I do now that your gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldnt say
To Everything I Couldn't Say To You Kendell You(for the short time God let me be with you)Were Everything I Loved And You Knew That Since Day 1 You Were The Only One I Could Actually Look In The Eyes And Not Think Of Anything More But How I Wanted To Stay In That Moment With You Forever. Here Is The Answer To Your Unanswered Question That I Was Too Shy To Tell You... You Were An 11 not a 9 or a 10... an 11 and you will always be. And I Am Glad That I was With You Negro!!! Te Quise, Te Quiero Y Siempre Te Querre!!!
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
When I am gone, release me, let me go,
I have so many things to see and do,
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears.
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, You can only guess,
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it is time I travel alone.
So greive a while for if grieve you must,
then let your grief be, comforted by trust.
It's only for awhile that we must part,
so bless the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear,
All of my love around you, soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile, and say,.......
"Welcome Home"
Esto Es Para Ti, Ya Se Que Nadie Se Dara Cuenta De Que Te Hice Este Memorial Pero La Verdad Es Que No Me Importa!!!! :)
Pero Quiero Que Sepas Que Voy A Tratar De Hacer Todo Lo Posible Por Ir A Visitarte Todos Los Dias Para Platicar Un Rato. Well Anyways Enough Bout That Did You Know That They Took Away All Of Your Mountain Dews...I Don't Know If It's Because You Can't Have Them There Or Whatever But At Least I Got To Put Them There For You And I Got To See Them!!! Well I Have To Get Back To Work Ok But You Know That I'll Be There Today!!! Ok!?! *Te Quise
* Te Quiero
*... Y Siempre Te Querre!!!
I started to build my tribute to Kendell today. I thank everyone that visits this page to remember him, I truly do. I made this for Him and His memory and also for his mother and sister...but the main reason I started this was for me...I hope that doesn't sound selfish to you Kendell, but I really needed this so I could have a place that's just for me... a place where I can put even the most unimportant thought that comes to my head... you know for at least some closure...some consuelo. Lo hice para ti y para mi...so I could have a place donde me podia perder en tus fotos y recuerdos sin que alguien venga to snap me into reality again, si me entiendes??!! Again thank you to those who stopped by to remember him...if only for a second. Thank You.
Gricelda
8 months ago. . .so close to a year now, bu how? When? Why? Don't know what to think, let alone how to say what I feel in this heart of mine, it just seems that words aren't the right type of language or method to use to try and express and tell you how much i miss your presence. It's like i have to try and make up this whole new language in order for me to actually feel like i've told you exactly how much if hurt for you to go and how much it hurts that you're not here, it's different and strange, I don't think its adaptable either, because there is no more warmth, no more love, no more happiness. . .EVERYTHING is all bad news, you know, when it rains it pours, and thats whats been going on for the past 8 months. I Love You and I Miss You MORE. . .Te Quise Te Quiero Y Siempre Te Querre. Love Always Gricelda